fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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