i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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