I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize