Nicole vs. Life
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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