I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
