he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Operation Purity has been aborted
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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