I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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