If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
