My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
someone owes me an orgasm
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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