She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
