OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
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Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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