Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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