Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
