Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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