Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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