we made out on top of his cat.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize