they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
