i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
