JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
