absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
