Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
