Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
