Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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