How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
