it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
