so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You left your phone here
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