The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
