And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
