I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
