he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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