I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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