This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
