? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
