IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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