I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
