His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
