You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
