Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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