Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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