I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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