If i come over, it means nothing
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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