There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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