I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize