angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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