so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
