im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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