my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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