There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
