did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
