This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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