Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
