i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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