lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
