but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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