Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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