oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She swung at the pinata with crutches
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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