You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
