Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
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Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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