"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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