just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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