so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
