Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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