I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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